Last Sunday afternoon, I was singing Psalm at church, when a strange thought came across my mind. This might be the last Psalm that you sing, as a single woman, it said. The very thought of it made me shudder a little bit, and suddenly I missed a note! I quickly concentrated back to the Psalm in front of me, and wished that the mistake wasn’t a terrible one.
Ever since that moment, the similar thoughts keeps on coming across my mind. This might be the last gado-gado you have as a single woman. This might be the last novel you read as a single woman. And this very writing might be the last thing I write in this blog, as a single woman!!!
Yeah, my life is about to change. This time it’s gonna be a huge one. I won’t address myself ‘Miss’ anymore. And once the change happens, there is no turning back. It’s a point of no return. Realizing this, I was lucky enough to sing Psalm and Hallelujah till the end, with one or two mistakes only. With these kinds of thoughts, I could’ve stopped singing and ran back home instead!
I never want to call myself Cowardia, Cowardella, or Cowardonetta, but I must admit that I’ve been acting like a coward lately. I’m afraid of big changes!!!
Most of the times, I simply face the fear by ignoring it. Not talking about it. Limiting any thoughts about it. I only said it in my prayers.
That’s what I usually do.
Ignore the fear, let it happen, and see what I can do.
It was like joining a debate competition without case building, without knowing what the motion is, on which side I shall stand, and who I am going to debate against. I only know who my team mates are. If you’re lucky enough to have team mates like Michelle, Aviva, or Lita of Atma Jaya Debating Club (ADC), you would surely jump with them into any fire, without hesitation! You simply trust each other, and have a wonderful debate, no matter what it takes!
I know who my team mate will be. He’s a guy I’ve known for three years. I really hope we can be a great team.
This is the song I was so very, extremely, unbelievably lucky to sing with gorgeous Mr. D on October 10, 2009 (when will I sing with him again? Hehehe…^^)
The melody, I love with all my heart. The lyrics, I pray with all my soul.
Music and lyrics: David Foster and Carol Bayer Sarger
Italian translation: Alberto Testa, Tony Reis
The Prayer
I pray you’ll be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don’t know
Let this be our prayer
As we go our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place where we’ll be safe
La luce che to dai
I pray we’ll find your light
Nel cuore restero
And hold it in our hearts
A ricordarchi che
When stars go out each night
L’eterna stella sei
Nella mia preghiera
Let this be our prayer
Quanta fede c’e
When shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe.
Sognamo un mondo senza piu violenza
Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza
Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino
Simbolo di pace e di fraternita
La forza che ci dai
We ask that life be kind
E’il desiderio che
And watch us from above
Ognuno trovi amore
We hope each soul will find
Intorno e dentro a se
Another soul to love
Let this be our prayer
Let this be our prayer
Just like every child
Just like every child
Needs to find a place,
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe
E la fede che
Hai acceso in noi
Sento che ci salvera
wow Shanti, I know what you feel but I wasn’t quite there when I was about to get married. It feels overwhelming, I know, but does it leave butterflies in your stomach?
As for me, it didn’t.
But yes, it’s a big change that you’re about to face. And it comes with responsibilities too.
Never fear anything, though. Believe me, this kind of change will come with all bright sides that you can think of!
Be brave gal! Love.