For a few seconds I can see nothing but little twinkling stars dancing around, followed by a sudden sharp pain on my head. Then, gaining my sight back, I start to wonder. It shouldn’t be so difficult. My eyes are telling me that I’m just a few steps away from the green grass, a few flaps away from the tree tops. But somehow, I just can’t get out!
I spring back, take a deep breath, get myself ready. Yes, I’m going to try again. Spread my wings, and… (fly again?)
It happens again. So comes again the pain, more severe than the previous one. I check my beak, fortunately it’s fine. Standing on trembling little feet, I force myself to think. It mustn’t be a coincidence. There must be an invisible barrier that separates me from the outside world.
I examine the mysterious “barrier” closely. I see nothing. The sky is just as blue, and the leaves, as green. Yet something is missing. Where’s the sweet smell of the grass? The sound of other birds singing? The warm sunshine? The wind breeze?
I decide to take a rest and examine my surrounding more carefully. There’s no other bird in this room. I only see humans. I’m glad they’re not interested in me. Anyway, I’m just an unattractive little brown feathered bird. Not valuable enough for them to catch.
Those humans are busy with their meals.
I’m hungry. And so are my babies…
How many hours has elapsed since the last time I saw them this morning? Mommy’s going out to fetch you some food, said I. Be nice and don’t leave the nest until Mommy returns. My five adorable little babies… they hatched a week ago, and it’s my first experience to be a mother. I feed them every morning, noon, and night. They could never be satisfied. It was the happiest moment of my life! To hear the eggs cracked, and…
Stay focus! You want to leave this place and go home to your babies, right? So, stay focus and think!!!
Too tired to fly, I hop along the window panes. (Little birds do not walk. We hop.) Checking here and there, searching for a spot where “the barrier” doesn’t exist. After checking around twice (or thrice?) I still can’t find the right spot. The invincible “barrier” is covering this room. Gosh, I almost give up!
Wait, I managed to get in here, right? If there’s an entrance, there should also be an exit. All I have to do is find the entrance, then I’ll be able to exit. The idea rises my spirit back. Once again I spread my wings and fly. I need to find the entrance soon.
The flaps of my wings attract the humans’ attention. Some of them look up, and see me flying around. Watch me, I say, watch me finding my way home!
Time goes by… and here I am still, in this very room. I could hardly move my wings anymore. They’re exhausted, just like me. I stand still and look down.
A woman is watching me. Sympathy is written on her face. She’s trying to say something… but I don’t understand the human language. Ah, who cares…
Legs trembling, tears falling, oh how I miss my babies…
Looking out at the darkening sky, suddenly I gain my strength back. The last power, just adequate for one final effort!!! I stand up, straighten my legs, throw one final glance at the humans… at the woman who’s still watching.
You may look down on me, on my tiny little figure. And yes, I’m only equipped with a pair of tiny little wings. My strength won’t last the night. Neither will my life. But I’m a bird, and a bird never gives up!!!
One final effort, I say to my wings. For the sake of my hungry babies, I’ll have to try again. If I get lucky, “the barrier” might no longer be there. Who knows?
There’s only a way to find out.
I close my eyes, praying to my Creator, thinking of my babies. Mommy’s coming home.
One, two, three, go…!!!
After hitting the glass window severely, the bird falls down. Its eyes, no longer open, its beak no longer chirps. A woman removes the dead bird from the floor, holding it close to her chest. Tears are falling down her cheeks. If only you understand the language of human, she whispers sadly. I know you only want to find a way out. I’ll take you out and release you in the open. I’ve offered you a help… but how would you understand my intention? We don’t even speak the same language.
*dedicated to one confused little bird trapped in the food court of Summarecon Mall Serpong, one Sunday afternoon*