Have you ever felt confident about your own abilities, yet failure is all you can find while trying to accomplish them?
Well, I have. For many, many times, actually. Quite shameful, you know. But here are some examples:
- Every time I hear “The Prayer” sung by Josh Groban and Charlotte Church, I always feel confident that I can sing it the way Miss Church does. I would practice it as soon as I get home. The result is: practice more, work harder, may God have mercy.
- Every time I visit my friend Tessa’s blog (kajoemanis) and read all the beautiful poems she had written, I feel confident that I can do the same to my blog. Result: Shakespeare was not my great-great grandpa. His blood doesn’t run through mine. Wake up!!!
- I have always admired Enid Blyton’s “The Naughtiest Girl at School” and “Five Find-Outers” series so much, that I once believed, if the series are to be continued, I’ll be the one who write them. Result: I only managed to write one opening paragraph. Don’t want to ruin the characters she had created (sounds like a suitable, honorable reason enough for me to back off, huh?)
- I have always admired Gong Li for her talent and beauty. I believe I could act like her, and astonish the world through my movies. Result: every fiber in my body trembled horribly when I acted as an old woman during a theater competition in University of Indonesia. Acting… in the next life, perhaps?
- I believe I can speak English well, without any influence from my Javanese accent. I even believed that a two-hour Harry Potter movie had successfully produced a British accent out of me. The result is: I speak Muntlish, you know (Muntilanese English)
Now, let’s work it out the other way around.
Have you ever questioned your own abilities, yet you are able to accomplish them?
Well, I have. It’s not something to be proud of, though. But I’d love to write them here! ^^
- I have always prayed to God to give me beautiful voice to sing with. But deep down inside, I realize that I simply wasn’t born with ‘it”. Yet I remember the Chinese 命運 (mingyun: fate and luck). Ming 命 is what you are born with. For example you are born as a girl. You know, something you can’t change. But aside of ming, there is also yun 運 which means luck. It is something we can change! For example, I know I wasn’t born with a beautiful voice, but if a great vocal instructor trained me, and I practice hard enough, I would sing better, for sure! After attending Jakarta Singing School for a year, I underwent a vocal exam. I got a B-. In the following year, I underwent a vocal exam again, and this time, it’s a B+! The result is: Thank God for showing me the way to JSS. Jia you…!!! ^^
- I’m not into adults poems like my talented friend, Tessa. But if you check this blog you would find some children poems, like ‘Kepiting‘, it’s one of my favorite. I also thought of some very simple poems in Mandarin. Anyway, if I want to create a poem in Mandarin, it’d better be a simple one, to hinder myself from grammatical mistakes. ^^ Result: Poem is for everyone. Believe me…!!! ^^
- Novels or children storybooks are still a very long way for a junior writer like me. I have written stories since my elementary school years, yet I was too shy to show my writings to anyone at all. When I was a kid, two cousins of mine loved to sneak in and grab a book contained of my writings. I would run after them all day long, just to keep them busy enough NOT to read what I’ve written! But you see, now I have my own blog (and busy telling people to visit it), well, at least I’m a blogger (the modern way to say ‘writer’) now…^^. Result: Jia you…!!!
- In this life, I could never be an actress-lah… But I do some kind of ‘acting’ all the times. I am trusted to be a presenter of a news-feature program in Da Ai TV. While having a good mood, it’s not difficult to smile at the camera and talk to it as if you were talking to some very close friends. But in the times of bad mood, producing the slightest smile would be unbearably difficult! Yet, I have to do it, for the sake of the audience who has dedicated their time watching our programs. Result: I do love my job! So no matter what, just smile sincerely and talk to the audience through the camera… Isn’t it some kind of ‘acting’? ^^
- Once, I was to teach Mandarin to an American citizen. It wasn’t so difficult, since he only wanted to know what Mandarin is like. So I taught him Pinyin, simple sentence structures, basic conversation, and so on. We used English as the media of learning. During the first lesson, he said to me, “Your boyfriend must be an Englishman.” I said no, he’s an Indonesian-born Chinese. Why did you say so? He said, “Well, you speak British English.” Dear God, the Harry Potter movie does work!!! ^^ Result: My English accent is not that bad, actually. If I am to speak English from the very beginning, there wouldn’t be any problem. The most difficult thing is when I speak Indonesian… then suddenly there are some English words. I find it difficult to switch from Indonesian to English within less than a second. Still working on it ’till now.
Isn’t confidence one of the best gifts God has given to us? To survive in this world full of uncertainties?
The main result would be: Failures are OK, as long as you have confidence inside your heart… ^^